Premature ejaculation is usually an unmistakable experience to a man or his partner, but through the years it has been difficult for professionals to agree on a precise definition of this common sexual concern. As Helen Kaplan, M.D. and other professionals point out, this phenomenon may occur because the man is unable to recognize that he is about to ejaculate. And even when he does recognize he is approaching ejaculation, he feels he is unable to control or delay the process.
Premature ejaculation occurs when a man reaches orgasm and ejaculates too quickly and without control. In other words, ejaculation occurs before a man wants it to happen. It may occur before or after beginning foreplay or intercourse. Some men experience a lot of personal distress because of this condition.
Men with PE have a lack of ejaculatory control, which can cause psychological distress among men who suffer from it. Likewise, partners of men with premature ejaculation express dissatisfaction with the timing of ejaculation, and may also experience reduced self-esteem and sexual pleasure.
It's one of the commonest of all sexual problems. Recently, we did a survey of several thousand British males, and approximately 10 per cent of them said that they 'often' or 'sometimes' had this trouble. We found that it's commoner in younger men - which is not surprising, as there's a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older. However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that middle-aged men still have this problem. Fortunately, good treatments are available. (read more on stopping premature ejaculation)
More on stopping premature ejaculation
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early 'conditioning'. In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick - so as to avoid detection! The idea is that all this hectic rush 'conditions' him to climax as quickly as possible.
According to several medical texts, premature ejaculation is not typically caused or exacerbated by any physical illness or abnormality. It is not the fault of the woman, regardless of how exciting her mate finds her. It is a curable, emotionally caused problem that some believe is related to general performance anxiety.
There's no medical standard for how long it should take a man to ejaculate. The primary sign of premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before both partners wish in the majority of sexual encounters, causing distress for one or both partners. The problem can occur in all sexual situations, including masturbation, or may only occur during sexual encounters with another person.
Several factors may contribute to premature ejaculation. Psychological problems such as stress, depression and other factors that affect mental and emotional health can aggravate this condition. However, there is growing evidence that biological factors can make some men more prone to experience premature ejaculation.
stopping premature ejaculation
However, the primary treatment of ejaculatory control is helping a man, by various techniques, to repeatedly focus his attention on the increasing erotic sensations in his body as he approaches orgasm. By increasing his awareness of the buildup of these pleasurable sensations he is better able to judge where he is along the path of reaching an orgasm and ejaculating. (Note: orgasm and ejaculation are separate events, caused by separate systems in the male's body, though they usually occur at the same time. The term orgasm is commonly used when speaking of a male's ejaculation. Technically, however, orgasm is just the peak of the intense pleasurable feeling that usually follows a man being highly sexually excited. Squeeze Methods: this method involves either the man or his partner squeezing (fairly firmly) the end or the tip of the penis for 10 to 20 seconds when ejaculation is imminent, withholding stimulation for about 30 seconds, then continuing stimulation. This can be repeated until ejaculation is desired. The stop and start method can be used with the squeeze method as well.
The emergence of sexual tension and relationship difficulties are greatly reduced if sexual activity occurs under these circumstances: only after the partners know each other well and are comfortable with one another. Both partners consent to sexual intimacy without feeling pressured. Sexual activity should occur in a private and relaxed setting. In addition, contraception issues should be discussed, decided and acted upon by the couple.
The knowledge of normal male and female sexual responses prior to engaging in sexual activity may be helpful in preventing premature ejaculation. (read more on stopping premature ejaculation)
stopping premature ejaculation - Tips
Once you have good control during masturbation, and appreciate whole-body sensuality, and feel comfortable breathing deeply during lovemaking, then you're ready for the couples program -- if you're in a couple. The couple approach is called the "Stop-Start Technique." First, arrange "stop" and "start" signals with your lover, for example, a light pinch or tap, or a tug on an ear.
Don't use drugs or alcohol. They're distracting and they interfere with the self-awareness crucial to learning ejaculatory control.
